Supreme Nerd!

He got a nerd score of 94 !!! can u beleive that! ,,,and this is for the guy-with-score-88, dont despair , if 94 could get someone to marry him, you still have hope ! :D

and,,

She asked me to mention that she is looking fat in the photo coz of the convexity of the car/ her heavy coat. He doesnt hv any comments on his photo as he doesnt know its on this blog ( which is why its still thr!

He and She

I keep mentioning He and She (ya,thats practically all i talk about !)...so i thought it would do you good to have a look at He and She...u know improves imagination! ...

So. here they are !

This is He, in a carton he claims he was having a good time in !

This is She, in the reflection on the car of course !

Aren't they simply adorable?!!!!

I am inssspiringg!

Yes, beleive it or not...i actually inspired someone...a friend started blogging after reading my blog , even if he might not second this impression of mine but i know it , coz he named his blog 'losingitbytheday' :D:D:D:D!!!!

Yo ho !

hey thr ! i get a break while she is breaking her head on " A quarterly rate of 2.5% is equivalent to a semiannual rate of 1.025^2 -1=5.0625% " ...she jussssst got it and oh god ! even I am embarassed to say she is from one of the IITs! wel well well..u cant blame this one on the education system either !
This blog...someitmes i feel distracted...i should be writing about like I said 'ramblings of a bird brain' but sometimes I feel like pinning down my wise opinions too...like on the increasing number of IITians who think they should have done a bachelors in commerce rather than engg...this one i can blame on the education system!
Ok, back to the main topic...there r so any unrelated things to write so i shall make small bloglets out of them....

------------------------A story-----------------------------
.................................He, the Superman! .....................................
He and She just finished watching a movie.He is bac to his laptop and She is still staring at the TV ( takes her some time to shift gears actualy) . She feels hungry.
She: Honey..
He:
She : 'You cook!'
(No no , u got to imagine it right.,a very shrill voice , shiny round eyes and an extremely silly expression on her face . you can also imagine a lighted bulb near her head , eureka one)
(so here we go again)
She : 'You cook'!
He slowly turns towards her.Now he doesnt say no to her.He doesnt answer mostly but still never a No u see. I am waiting and waiting and waiting for a response from the laziest bum on the planet .
He gets up! He actually gets up !
He is walking towards the kitchen.
She: (very annoying silly giggling) hehehe, This is so nice !
Suddenly, he starts limping.He is on his knees.He is still moving towards the kitchen.He has gone down on all fours. he is still inching towards the kitchen. At first She was thinking he is just acting , now she cant resist asking.
She: 'what happened?'
He: nothing
She:' whats it?! say!"
He:' I thought u knew. The kitchen floor is made of Kryptonite'
She: so?
He: ' I thought u knew. I am allergic to Kryptonite.'
Hats off !! awesome !! Did u get it ? Not only is he allergic to kitchen floor , he is the Superman!!! Now thats what i call husband-ish !!!

---------- A sample conversation----------------------------------
She: ( with that sily expression) Sometimes I find you funny!
He slowly turns towards her and simultaneouly his right eyebrows gets raised.
He: funny?!
She: (quickly) Mostly i find you cute !
He: I always find you khoti.
(khota: ass)


------------A confession-------------------------------------------
She (almost an year back, with friends) : "How could you do this to maggi!??!!!"
and how could you say that!
Did you get up on a sunday and make breakfast for the rest like she did !
and like you are the authority on maggi over here !

----------------An Achievement---------
The perfect indian housewife managed to reduce her electricity bill by a whopping fiftyyyyyy percennntttttttttt!!(clappppingggg!!!) She should be allowed to put that on her MBA resume !
and you know how did she celebrate this achievement?
She ordered the ( imagine a deep booming male voice) "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"
Now thats like a grown-up!!

Sorry folks....

yes, another post in the series of depressing posts...but the fact of the matter is She has enrolled for an exam (fees=$900) on the Valentine's Day ! God! she is so yuckingly, geekingly unromantic! Little did He know that he would have to give such an expensive gift , he also didnt know that she didnt even remember it was V day !

Now she wont let go of her books coz of the $900 and He doesnt seem to mind , of course coz of $900. So, as you have probably guessed , this blog would be compromised/sacrificed...merely for $900.

But i refuse to go down that easily.I'll be back ! I'll be back !

am being slowly murdered

Yes I am very serious about it !..but before that smart people like you would like to know how come I got alive in the first place ...well, she had her telephonic interview in which (to my pure surprise) she managed not to intimidate the poor interviewer...dont ask me the boring details but whats interesting is everyday there is a pop-up from her mouth,' oh, i got that one wrong!' yes, she takes one full day to figure out one silly mistake before moving on to the next...but r we surprised..not in the least..anyway...i was talking about myself....i was brought back to life by a run to Blockbuster in the shining Seattle sun and 'Chicken Bharta'...she did a good job on the canned white chicken..even he liked it !
and now for my slow murder ...she is anticipating another round of interview and she is slowly preparing for it ...slowly==2 problems a day... what did i just write '==' ! god! see ,what the slow torture has done to me !

while i am still alive , lets continue on the rambligs of the bird brain..
she is very inquisitive u know..lemme tell u how inquisitive..

Scene: She and the guy are about to watch a movie,last time they saw 'The ladykillers' ( It was funny , only that I could see from her face that she coudlnt understand a word of what Tom Hanks was saying)...they r sitting on the couch facing the TV.
There is a trailor coming on of 'King Arthur'.
Abruptly she turns to face to him , her eyes go round (shez got bigg eyes)and she asks
She: Who was King Arthur?
As still as he was,in a deep husky voice, He: He was a king.
She is still looking at him.He is still looking at the TV.
She is still looking at him.He is still looking at the TV.
She is still looking at him.He is still looking at the TV.
In slow motion , she turns to face the TV again.

Then the movie starts.
Abruptly she turns to face to him , her eyes go round (shez got bigg eyes)and she asks
She: What is this movie about?
As still as he was,in a deep husky voice, He: The ladykillers
She is still looking at him.He is still looking at the TV.
She is still looking at him.He is still looking at the TV.
She is still looking at him.He is still looking at the TV.
In slow motion , she turns to face the TV again.

poor thing, she got stuck with the wrong guy i guess...well..more on this later..
she never stops pestering the poor fellow though,,,
They r having dinner . He is about to take the first morsal and she shouts : 'The curry is hot!'.
He: Hmm ( He does a good job of not letting it show that his mouth got burnt)
Second morsal
She:'Its hot!'
He: 'Too late'
Third morsal
She:'Its hot ! '
.....

Bah! am already bored of her ..and i find this word 'boring' boring tooo! any suggestions for a synonym

I am dead

I hope you r wondering what happened to the to-be-continued...well what happened was I died ,,i mean i am stil dead...she has an interview and she is reading reading reading for it (if u ask me,its no use but like she listens !(exasperated!)) and even the guy has joined her (probably coz reading keeps her occupied and she doesnt bother him with "There are no onions in the house!") but amidst all this, I have succumbed to boredom. Waiting for a miracle to revive myself.....

Help me!!!

Oh God,help meeee!!! I am stuck with the most boring person on this planet! Her monotonous ways will someday choke me to death :( and my death means this blog's death ! Heavens, what an unimaginable loss!!! and entirely coz of her ! dont beleive me?ok lemme tell you what she does Everyday, every same hour of each day spent in the same way !

~~Warning : The content below is completely boring.~~

Morning 8 AM
She: Honey, wake up.. its 8....

Morning 9 AM
She: Honey, wake up.. its 9....

Morning 10 AM
She: Honey, wake up ..its 10....
Me: OH,for christ's sake ! sleep and let sleep!!

Morning 10:30 AM
She: Honey, wake up.. its 10:30....
He: what!! 10:30 !! why didnt u wake me up !! everyday i get late because of u !
Me: well done! happy?!!

-he runs to the bathroom
She calls out: shall i make tea and breakfast?
He: no, i am late.can't u see!

She gets up to make tea and breakfast when anyone in her place and in her right mind would go back to sleep ! He comes and grabs the sandwich.

He with his mouthful : This is yummy, can i get another?
She is visibly on cloud number nine.
Me exasperated: ya right, now he is not getting late!
She: sure,hon!
He: why did u make so much of tea! now i'll hv to drink whollle of it before i can go to office !
She puts the second sandwich on his plate.
He is already grabbing his jacket and keys.
He: whats that! its not lunch time yet! bye!
She looks hallucinated.
Me: told ya !

With the only guy with some action around him having left for the day, i resign myself to spending yet another day with this geek.
She logs in her machine as usual - her desktop , he owns the sony vaio, the only piece of beauty in the house,except of course me!
She checks her mails, diligenty replies to ALL, goes to the 'junk' folder, checks all junk mails ( she is paranoid about one of her university mails landing in there!) repeats the same for another email id. I am already yawning and she is lost in her inbox. Why can't she see the 20 GB folder named 'movies' right there on the desktop?! He got them for her -all his choices though - coz ( she thinks) he likes watching movies with her, coz ( I think) she keeps her mouth shut while watching english movies. He got her a new TV and dvd player but she wouldnt let him take a cable connection.
She: honey, i have better ways of wasting time than the idiot box.
Me: ya, i know.its $30 per month which is like Rs.1500 and you can get a full year's connection in that much in bangalore,right! Urgh!! cheap!

She starts chatting on yahoo.God! even her chats are the same everyday !! same crap about 'he got an adission, i still didnt', ' this interview went bad, i wish i had kept my mouth shut '..she keeps wishing,never actually shuts her mouth ! Oh yeah, she does have an iota of excitement in her life , her interviews but she is so adept at being boring that she turned them all into the same kind ! besides , they are a torture for me and him ! she keeps talking about them. she writes emails to her friends about her interviews and to my utter surprise, they reply too! I hope you noticed she doesnt write about her interviews to him, coz she learnt the hard way, he never replies! little does she know, he never reads!

Its afternoon and my only hope in life now is lunch. she gets up and grabs an apple.lunch over! Everday i hope miss lazy will get up and do some cooking and burn some fingers and break some plates but no, she deprives me of even that small a pleasure.
Its afternoon and she is sleepy (yes, she spent 4 years in bengal!) and i feel like strangling myself with the dupatta she is using as a blanket (yes, she is too lazy to make it to the bedroom and sleep in her conforter) and the phone rings ! i didnt know her phone works ! its him, the smile on her face shows!
He: honey..
Me: ???!!!!! what does he want ?!
She with a 100 watt smile : haan jee (yes, please)
Me: she and her 'haan jee' will drive me crazy someday!
He: we need to file tax,Could you look up the tax website and figure out how to?
Me: there! smart guy ! boring work for boring people ! perfect! now i know why he married her!
She: sure,honey !!
He:k, bye ! i'll come home late.
call ended.
She: byeeee. try to come soon, luv u !
Me: yuckkkk!

Imagine my plight ! just when there were some hopes of getting to watch aishwarya abhishek snaps on www.ibnlive.com after she wakes up , I get to bang my head against http://dor.wa.gov/ . I wanna dieeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally its evening.Madam goes for her bath (yes, she is utterly hygienic and fussy and finicky. she prefers Dettol over Dove! eeow!) Oh i missed the dishwashing session before that. She wont use the dishwasher coz she says she can do with some physical exercise and I know its coz dishwasher takes more than an hour and keeps on consuming electricity for that entire hour! Perfect Indian HouseWife!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Then she starts making dinner and puts on some songs.Now you would say thats some entertainment for me but no wait, i told you she is boring , she listens to the same playlist everyday and day after day and day after day...old songs of last century..please send me the address of nearest mental asylum !

-- to be continued--

..730....!!

I dont think anyone who has ever written GMAT and got a decent score can escape a 'How-___-GMAT' ..so here it comes on special request...my two cents on GMAT:

First the scoring, you get a GMAT score out of 800 and percentile , a sectionwise score and percentile and an essay score out of 6 and its percentile. Every bit is important. At 730 , my percentile was 97.

Basic preparation material:
Books: Kaplan, Official Guide . There are many other available but I used these two.
Cds: Kaplan CD , OG cd.
Miscellaneous : Many other softwares and tests are available on internet.

1. Practise.Practise.Practise.
Its a very easy test but the key goes in its format.At the time of the test, you start with writing 2 essays then a maths section and then english in the end. It would have been easier if essays were towards the end so that you could write with a peaceful mind but may be thats the reason,the GMAT guys dont hv it that way.So, get used to writing the test. Biggest mess up would be to fall short of time during the test.No one falls short of time.Everyone who gets a decent score completes all questions.The sections are independent with their own timings so do your time management for all the sections. Things like reading comprehension in english gobble up time without you realising it. Plus, you cannot go back to attempted questions so you tend to spend a little more time cross-checking your answer.GMAT gives you enough time for that but still you should be careful. Write as many Full tests as you can. Different softwares have different way of calculating the score (as its an adaptive test) you could have a metric of number of mistakes in every section to compare your performance. No amount of preparation is enough.

2. Quants
people writing GMAT from asia cannot afford to make even a single mistake in Quants section.Its quite easy and typically people get every question right.So the more mistakes you make the faster your percentile slides down. Prepare through section tests.

3.English
I found english tough. Typical questions are sentence correction,reading comprehension and logical analysis. Sentence correction is easiest out of these and RC toughest. A good score in verbal is a brownie for an asian mba aspirant. Prepare using grammer books , vocablary guides,section tests.

4.Essays
I didnt prepare for them but what i did was read up a lot of essays before i went for the exam . The structure of essay is important.It is rated by a computer as well as human raters. So it needs to conform to a certain style and contain some keywords which the E-rater would rate on.Plus they are analytical.They are actually a small business problem and you have to say why do you think the conclusion as presented in the question is right or wrong.

5.Where to start:
Diagnostic full test : write a full test. Dont feel too smug if you score very well.GMAT is still far far away. Identify your weak areas and do extra practise on those type of questions.

6.Take a date
You are not gonna be serious till you take a GMAT appointment.Take it in the morning or afternoon whichevr slot you are mentally most active in.

7.Make a schedule
Make a schedule of writing one full test every week starting at the time you have taken your actual GMAT appointment. Lets say you took an appointment for morning 9 AM.In actual GMAT, you would spend first 15 mins in filling your particulars ,next one hour on writing your essays.So, if you dont plan to practise writing the essay, you should start your mock test at around 10:15 AM. Programming your body clock really helps in managing exam stress and time taken to write the answers.
GMAT is a long test.One hour for two essays ,and two sections of 75 mins each. You should be accustomed to sitting that long.You get a break after the first section. I didnt see many people using the break though i helped myself to some water after quants.

8.During the exam.
Chill.Because of having to write the essays first, you would have regained control of your nerves when you start the sections.But as in adaptive tests, if you make mistakes in the beginning, your score plunges.Keep that in mind. There is no harm spending a little more time on the first five questions as long as you are confident of completing the section in time.
Dont draw conclusions.If you are getting one tough question after another doesnt mean you are doing well , at the same time all easy questions also doesnt mean you are marking everything wrong.GMAT throws in some dummy questions to test them for future exams.So simply go on solving without bothering about your performance.
Go prepared with the list of 5 schools you wanna send your score to.Save your precious dollars.
Even if your exam goes very bad (God forbid) dont cancel your scores.You can always rewrite and the universities will consider higher of the scores for you.universities specifically mention this on their website.

GMAT is a good exam.It doesnt expect anything extraordinary from you.It just tests your basics, your everyday maths and english.
All the best !

A winning thank you note !

Well, this is one of the rare times that i feel proud of her,,,she just got commended on the thank you note she wrote to that 20-times-experience-guy by him only! again, only if she had done this well for her first priority interview !

looks!

which one is better : you dont look as dumb as you are or You are not as smart as you look. I think the second one is better for me ,hehehe! both of them are apt for her though !

crybaby!crybaby!

"Was it too much to ask?","booh,hooh,hooh,booh,hooh,hooh" ...hahahahahah I am rolling on the floor laughing just looking at her crying ....a slight provovation and you get to watch the lights and sound show :))))... seriously pitying the guy who has to put up with it...am not saying she was wrong or something,,how can i dare to say such a thing ! but look at her cry! oh,man !!! I'll burst!!!

About mistakes and her

and not about her mistakes...I keep wondering when would she stop learning from mistakes and go on to not making them...she seems to be particularly bad at it...she learns alright but she doesnt stop making the mistake...till date, ask her whats 3*2+4 and she'll say 12 coz her lightening mind went straight to 3*4 , not that she is dumb or something ! anyway,,,,she had her interview..with someone who had 20 times work experience she had ,,and he told her very politely she was being an idiot (nothing new but still) ...actually he was being very pragmatic...but she was in a tight situation too...without divulging any details..i think she is not as stupid ,,there is a reason to her professional decisions.. anyway...but my point was she has done everything right for things secondary in importance ,,,, yuck ! what a blog ! this is what you get post interview !

about men and jar lids,covers,tissues,cups,glasses,,,

well i got bored of her so i shifted my attention to the guy who lives with her..its kinda funny...imagine..there is a guy cooking, he is frying some onions, he takes some spice jars , there is a girl behind him, he opens the jar, puts the spices, keeps it aside, the girl goes and closes the jar, he takes another, keeps the lid on his right side and jar on the left, and again the girl goes and puts the jar and the lid together..the guy feels like sneezing, he grabs a tissue, sneezes, throws the tissue and walks out of the kitchen, she stays behind him, picks the tissue , puts it not tosses it) into the garbage bin and follows him out of the kitchen ..of course all the while she is babbling something to him but as far as he or I am concerned we are hardly listening...sometimes i envy him...never mind

she can't get even tea right !!

This lousy female! 2 days in a row...twice a day...she had to throw her tea down the drain,can you beleive that!! her hubby was so nice 'achchi bani hai,but its very sweet' , 'its good, but i can't drink so much of hot water' etc etc but i blasted her big time ! tea of all things !! shame on you...she is still way behing on the chappatis she makes but ...anyway..her cooking is not worth discussing ! god knows when she'll learn !...you can get her to sit for as many mba interviews as you want ! she can go on and on about why mba why now but .....! she has got another intrview tomorrow with the placement director , lets see how much does she screw that up !

hmm..about her again..she wants to be something in life...her latest thought,,she wants to be a wardrobe sales person...she is imagining herself helping people get a full suit and matching accessories for themselves..but i think she 'll mess up if she is helping a cute guy..so she should drop that...btw she is trying to get into a mba program in finance.. and no I wont let her turn my blog into a MBA journal ..there is nothing abt GMAT prep, or application status etc etc..this blog is purely about the ramblings of a bird brain :D ...how would it like to be a waitress blogging is a waste of time there r better ways to waste time ...she is very nakchadi i think..justified sometimes though..how can u expect someone pampered by hotels in bangi to like any indian restaurant in US..anyway..guess what she is getting better and better at doing nothing..lets see how long she lasts

whoz that girl!

well so much for me spotting her ! i gotta tell you whoz she,right! well, she is a friend, the biggest moron i have ever come across...one who thinks blogging is a sheer waste of time and can never get her lazy *** to sit and blog she started blogging earlier , wrote one post and pooh!vanished!...this time she has made it to two posts and she has a lot of time at her hand so my guess is a third post can be bet upon ..there...she just ran off...as usual more important things to do ok meanwhile i'll keep on introducing her..she thinks she is very practical...i say she is an idiot...she says she is completely emotion less...i know she is a sentimental fool ! and i know coz i rule her heart!

SheZBack!

hey over there! did u see? I just saw her ! was that her ! it has to be her ! she is here! welcome honey :)