Oh God,help meeee!!! I am stuck with the most boring person on this planet! Her monotonous ways will someday choke me to death :( and my death means this blog's death ! Heavens, what an unimaginable loss!!! and entirely coz of her ! dont beleive me?ok lemme tell you what she does Everyday, every same hour of each day spent in the same way !
~~Warning : The content below is completely boring.~~
Morning 8 AM
She: Honey, wake up.. its 8....
Morning 9 AM
She: Honey, wake up.. its 9....
Morning 10 AM
She: Honey, wake up ..its 10....
Me: OH,for christ's sake ! sleep and let sleep!!
Morning 10:30 AM
She: Honey, wake up.. its 10:30....
He: what!! 10:30 !! why didnt u wake me up !! everyday i get late because of u !
Me: well done! happy?!!
-he runs to the bathroom
She calls out: shall i make tea and breakfast?
He: no, i am late.can't u see!
She gets up to make tea and breakfast when anyone in her place and in her right mind would go back to sleep ! He comes and grabs the sandwich.
He with his mouthful : This is yummy, can i get another?
She is visibly on cloud number nine.
Me exasperated: ya right, now he is not getting late!
She: sure,hon!
He: why did u make so much of tea! now i'll hv to drink whollle of it before i can go to office !
She puts the second sandwich on his plate.
He is already grabbing his jacket and keys.
He: whats that! its not lunch time yet! bye!
She looks hallucinated.
Me: told ya !
With the only guy with some action around him having left for the day, i resign myself to spending yet another day with this geek.
She logs in her machine as usual - her desktop , he owns the sony vaio, the only piece of beauty in the house,except of course me!
She checks her mails, diligenty replies to ALL, goes to the 'junk' folder, checks all junk mails ( she is paranoid about one of her university mails landing in there!) repeats the same for another email id. I am already yawning and she is lost in her inbox. Why can't she see the 20 GB folder named 'movies' right there on the desktop?! He got them for her -all his choices though - coz ( she thinks) he likes watching movies with her, coz ( I think) she keeps her mouth shut while watching english movies. He got her a new TV and dvd player but she wouldnt let him take a cable connection.
She: honey, i have better ways of wasting time than the idiot box.
Me: ya, i know.its $30 per month which is like Rs.1500 and you can get a full year's connection in that much in bangalore,right! Urgh!! cheap!
She starts chatting on yahoo.God! even her chats are the same everyday !! same crap about 'he got an adission, i still didnt', ' this interview went bad, i wish i had kept my mouth shut '..she keeps wishing,never actually shuts her mouth ! Oh yeah, she does have an iota of excitement in her life , her interviews but she is so adept at being boring that she turned them all into the same kind ! besides , they are a torture for me and him ! she keeps talking about them. she writes emails to her friends about her interviews and to my utter surprise, they reply too! I hope you noticed she doesnt write about her interviews to him, coz she learnt the hard way, he never replies! little does she know, he never reads!
Its afternoon and my only hope in life now is lunch. she gets up and grabs an apple.lunch over! Everday i hope miss lazy will get up and do some cooking and burn some fingers and break some plates but no, she deprives me of even that small a pleasure.
Its afternoon and she is sleepy (yes, she spent 4 years in bengal!) and i feel like strangling myself with the dupatta she is using as a blanket (yes, she is too lazy to make it to the bedroom and sleep in her conforter) and the phone rings ! i didnt know her phone works ! its him, the smile on her face shows!
He: honey..
Me: ???!!!!! what does he want ?!
She with a 100 watt smile : haan jee (yes, please)
Me: she and her 'haan jee' will drive me crazy someday!
He: we need to file tax,Could you look up the tax website and figure out how to?
Me: there! smart guy ! boring work for boring people ! perfect! now i know why he married her!
She: sure,honey !!
He:k, bye ! i'll come home late.
call ended.
She: byeeee. try to come soon, luv u !
Me: yuckkkk!
Imagine my plight ! just when there were some hopes of getting to watch aishwarya abhishek snaps on www.ibnlive.com after she wakes up , I get to bang my head against http://dor.wa.gov/ . I wanna dieeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally its evening.Madam goes for her bath (yes, she is utterly hygienic and fussy and finicky. she prefers Dettol over Dove! eeow!) Oh i missed the dishwashing session before that. She wont use the dishwasher coz she says she can do with some physical exercise and I know its coz dishwasher takes more than an hour and keeps on consuming electricity for that entire hour! Perfect Indian HouseWife!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
Then she starts making dinner and puts on some songs.Now you would say thats some entertainment for me but no wait, i told you she is boring , she listens to the same playlist everyday and day after day and day after day...old songs of last century..please send me the address of nearest mental asylum !
-- to be continued--
2 comments:
Hey, very funny stories about her, him and you! Interesting style.
I rarely visit my own blog and saw the comment just now. Hmm...so you think Scott Adams is more engaging than I am? I dont fully agree with that, but you are not the first to point it out. So won't take it against you. Give me a fair chance to entertain next time though :D
really amazing :)
i just play the blog like a movie in my head
and read the para carefully where you talk of friends replying to your interview related mails.
Post a Comment